Me Scurvy
Crew: Plunder my treasures: |
If You Come to a Fork in the Road... River112 wrote about desire, and feeling it toward another individual who, for reasons unknown to me, she cannot be with. So, of course, I am thinking about this in reference to my own life- can it get any more narcissistic on my end? :) I am reading this book by Alice Hoffman, "Here on Earth"- basically a homage to Wuthering Heights. One character, Hollis, has waited years for his love, March, to come back to him- he left her inexplicably when they were in their teens to go seek his own fortune (having grown up very poor), she got married, he came back when it was too late, etc. So she comes back to him 19 years later, and from there on out it is a dark tale of woe- basically saying 'how dare you, oh foolish one, try to go after the brass ring?' I think that I have internalized some of these negative images about going after what I desire, for they are everywhere, not just in this particular novel I am reading. The message has been relayed loud and clear: if I go after my heart's desires, I will end up falling flat on my face, regretting that I tried for something I wanted instead of setting for something that was safer, more accessible, etc. I think that these messages have stopped me in the past, hindered me from making the best decisions for myself. I remember reading a saying on www.demotivators.com- "Maybe your purpose in life is only to serve as an example for others"- this was coupled with the image of a sinking ship. I have never wanted to be that example, feared being that person- the one the after-school special was focused on. God forbid I jump out a 2nd story window like Helen Hunt did when she was all tripped-out. But I don't see anything being focused on me, living the life I am living right now. No after-school special, but also no reward for always doing the logical thing, the best thing, the most appropriate thing. In the words of Jack Black (High Fidelity), "Is it better to burn out or fade away?" There have been individuals who have come into my life that I have felt a true and unrelenting connection to. And did I do anything about it? Not if I was on the fast track to good-girl-ville at that time. I can think about one individual in particular that I have regrets about to this day. I guess it serves me right that only in novels do lovers wait for those that they love, no matter how long, no matter what. There are situations right now that I am longing to run to- never looking back. I have opportunities that I dream about that are about a second out of my grasp. Will I take them? Dare I take the road less traveled by? I don't know. I just don't know. said the Dread Pirate Ro at 4:09 PM on September 03, 2004 Aarrgh! 3 scurvy dogs said "Ahoy, matey!"
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Starboard Shiver Me
Timbers
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