Me Scurvy
Crew: Plunder my treasures: |
Really Dissapointed and Confused Ok, I hate to quibble, but I am getting rather irritated at my friends, who know my situation, know that my marriage has changed, not stayed the same and I have just up and decided to be dissatisfied, those people who know that things have been on a major downhill slide since we moved to MS...those people who are beginning to do the very things that I really feared from my family, who I would think know me less. I am getting the feeling that these friends are starting to judge me, as if they knew what was going on in my home, my life, or in my shoes. I am not sure why this bothers me so much. Half of my problem with letting others really "see" me as who I am is being afraid of not being loved, cared for, etc. if people really knew who I was. So now I am wondering, why the hell bother let anyone know at all? If all I am going to get is criticism for my feelings, which, by the way, are subjective in nature, then I don't see why I should even bother to reach out. I have my family, who really seem to understand what I am going through- maybe that has to do with them getting a taste of Justin and how things are between us when I came home in July. It seems that those I know here in MS, who get to experience the Wonder-Husband in the real world, and not just in their speculations, seem to think that he is being quite an ass. So I am wondering why it is that a few choice individuals that I thought cared for me and my happiness seem to be more attached to the fact that I am married and less to the fact that I be happy. Maybe it has something to do with their views, and nothing to do with me. I just can't believe that I didn't notice this about them before. But just so that everyone understands from here on out, when I write here about my marriage, I am not looking for someone to fix things for me. I am not looking for anyone to give me reasons why I should have to rethink what I am doing, why I should see his side, etc. etc. etc. I am living with this person every day. I am seeing this person's side of things. I am not holding him to standards that weren't in place before we got married. Accepting what I had and not asking for more is what got me here in the first place. said the Dread Pirate Ro at 7:24 AM on August 13, 2004 Aarrgh! 1 scurvy dogs said "Ahoy, matey!"
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Starboard Shiver Me
Timbers
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