Me Scurvy
Crew: Plunder my treasures: |
The Mousy Librarian... Today, I've been thinking about my job at the library, and how I let go of doing full-time massage therapy. I want to start talking to myself about it in the language of responsibility and choice. I am doing this analysis in my life in general, but I can start here with some pretty juicy work. I have started out with this: I have taken a job as a librarian because I want... - stable income that I can count on I am not working as a massage therapist because... - I am afraid that I can't support myself doing that work Wow. Those last three were really hard to write. It is also hard for me to admit that I need security- I find that I compare myself to others detrimentally in the areas where I feel more practical, like that is a bad thing. Being around Pagans who are, in my estimation, more free-spirited and less uptight than I am really gives me the feeling that I am not ethereal enough- I feel like the lone Pagan equivalent of an accountant in a sea of Pagan rock stars, poets and dreamers. A current concern in this vein- that I am going to get passed over for ritual work because I have already proven myself competent with other needed tasks at the Grove- cooking, dog watching, etc. I really want to work on my ritual skills this year, and I am nervous that I am not going to get that chance because I have proved dependable and competent in needed community-oriented areas. And if it happens, I will have to speak up and (here it comes) assert myself, talk about my concerns, wants, needs. I used to be so assertive, and I feel so mousy now. EEEK! said the Dread Pirate Ro at 4:56 PM on February 08, 2005 Aarrgh! 2 scurvy dogs said "Ahoy, matey!"
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Starboard Shiver Me
Timbers
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