Me Scurvy
Crew: Plunder my treasures: |
Southern Belle's Ten Commandments A Southern Belle's Ten Golden Rules Taken from 'A Southern Belle Primer, Or Why Princess Margaret Will Never Be A Kappa Kappa Gamma' by Maryln Schwartz 1. Never serve pink lemonade at your Junior League committee meetings. It has Communist overtones. 2. Always wear white when you walk down the aisle (even if it's for the third time). 3. Never wear white shoes before Easter or after Labor Day. The only exception, of course, is if you're a bride. Bridesmaids, however, must never wear white shoes. Bridesmaids' shoes should match the punch. 4. It doesn't matter if you marry a man who doesn't know the difference between a shrimp fork and a pickle fork; you can always teach him. Just make sure he can afford to buy you both. 5. Never date your sorority sister's ex-husband until at least three years after the divorce. You might need her to write your daughter a Kappa Kappa Gamma recommendation one day. Just remember it's a lot easier to find a new man than it is to get your daughter into Kappa. 6. Never marry a man whose mother and grandmother owned silver plate instead of real silver. He's not used to quality and he'll try to cheat you on the divorce settlement. 7. It's never too soon to write a thank-you note. Some belles take the notes and a pen with them to a party. In the middle of the evening they go into the ladies' room and write a thank-you describing how much they enjoyed the dinner (naming specific items). They then put the note in the mailbox as they leave. The hostess receives it first thing in the morning. Sure this is compulsive, but you're going to have to be compulsive if you want to be president of Junior League. 8. Never show your bosom before evening and never wear an ankle bracelet before anything. Girls who wear ankle bracelets usually end up twirling batons. There has never been a baton twirler who became Miss America and there's certainly never been a baton twirler in Junior League. 9. Never chew gum in public and never smoke on the street. 10. Buy low. Sell high. said the Dread Pirate Ro at 9:27 AM on November 16, 2004 Aarrgh! 1 scurvy dogs said "Ahoy, matey!"
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Starboard Shiver Me
Timbers
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