Me Scurvy
Crew: Plunder my treasures: |
People Watching at the Neighborhood WeirdoFest..ahem..Library Ah, a day at the library. One thing I think most people don't realize is that the library is one of the more underused venues for people-watching. First, we'll go easy. The computer addicts sit right in front of my desk, so I get to see them in all their obsessive glory. Drooling as they stand in line, waiting for a computer. Getting angry and abusive when there isn't a computer, and none of the current users have exceeded their 90 minute guaranteed Computer Hit. Most are coming in more than once a day to check emails. There's one guy, we'll call him Smelly, who doesn't bathe and comes in regularly (read: every day) and stays for 6 to 8 hours at a time. When he leaves, he never fails to update us gorgeous library matrons on his court battle that has spanned over 3 years (read: he is certifiable). Next in the line of insanity are those who, after much prompting, still cannot use the library without extensive help. PirateRo says, "That title is in under ROB in fiction, which is over there (points). Fiction is alphabetized by author." Patron says (with a look on their face like one of the swamp people from Dark Crystal who just recently had their essence sucked out) "Where....?" I get up, walk them over to the book, resist the urge to crack them over the head with it. Next patron, and the cycle begins again. Don't even try to explain the non-fiction shelving system. You're gonna lose, man, you're gonna lose. Then, there are the unique cases that really make life at the library interesting. The businessmen who use the study rooms as their offices. The crazy woman who comes in and tells us all how she built this library herself. Those who lack all intelligible means of conversation. Recent funny: a man in his mid-thirties, once done with using our geneology services, came up to the desk and tried to impress me with his knowledge of Mississippi history. Doesn't work in quite the same way on a Northern gal, but he didn't seem to notice. He then brought out photos of celebrities that he had printed off and tried to do the "stump the librarian" with me on a few of them. One was of Gerry Garcia when he was really young, with a tophat on. Annoying Guy asks me, "Do you know who this is? It was taken in the 60s." I gave him my best dumb blond look, blue eyes huge with innocent wonder, and replied, "Is it you?" Flustered, angry, and wondering if he looked like he could have been in his 20's in the 1960s, he left. I can be a real jackass. :) said the Dread Pirate Ro at 4:33 PM on December 20, 2004 Aarrgh! 3 scurvy dogs said "Ahoy, matey!"
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Starboard Shiver Me
Timbers
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