Me Scurvy
Crew: Plunder my treasures: |
Holiday Fun is One Letter Short of Holiday Funk I am starting to mentally prep myself for the pain that will be going home for Thanksgiving. It might be a total minefield of self-esteem destruction. First, I will have to deal with my mother, and her obligatory comments about my weight gain over this past year. For some strange reason, family members seem to think that weight gain due to depression can somehow be helped via belittling comments and their special ideas on how to lose weight (because, of course, I am overweight because I just hadn't thought of these wonderous things they are now going to rub under my nose). Next, the War of the Doughertys (including the Doughertys proper and the Doughertys by marriage). This will culminate in the Great Battle of Equal Time (also called the Conundrum of Turning Halves into Thirds). Every year, we agree to spend half the holiday time with my family, half the holiday time with Justin's family. But then, the battle begins- Justin's mom wants equal time to Justin's dad- thus, both Justin's parents feel cheated because they end up with only one day of our time. Then, they start to encroach on my parents' time (or rather, Justin tries to, in order to placate them). It becomes a giant mess. Third, we have the Great Cat Issue, a guessing game sometimes called When Will Lora's Lungs Fall Out? Justin's mom's cat has some sort of super-dander, and I need an inhaler to survive a night at her place, plus lots of drugs. I don't EVER use an inhaler anymore- well, except at Mom Dougherty's house. We could always stay at Justin's grandmother's house, but he never wants to- in fact, he suggested that I sleep there and he would sleep at his mom's last year. Oh yes, you know how well that went over. Fourth, we are making a 12 hour drive with our dog in the car. Need I say more? It can't turn out as bad as I am imagining it- therefore, it will be pleasant in comparison. said the Dread Pirate Ro at 9:16 AM on November 23, 2004 Aarrgh! 4 scurvy dogs said "Ahoy, matey!"
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Starboard Shiver Me
Timbers
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